At the end of part one of Gabe’s story I left you in the midst of a story . . . literally a teary-eyed, tender-hearted preacher and his wife standing on their front porch early one morning with empty arms and broken hearts. Handing that little baby off to a caseworker was as scary as putting a baby in a basket to float down the Nile River!
We wanted desperately to rescue that baby who would be tossed about on the dangerous river of foster care. But just like the baby Moses story, God already had the right people in our path. Our relationships with them were all part of a divine plan. Baby Gabe would be gone about four hours without any word of a court decision. We were supposed to have known something by noon, but crickets . . . no one knew anything.
Then Aaron said, “I bet I know somebody that can help us!” He grabbed his trusted cell phone and went right to work.
The sheriff, our friend and part of our church family, knew just who to call.
The county attorney had answers but not what we wanted to hear.
The baby’s lawyer had more answers, reasons behind decisions to send this baby boy four hours away, and some better solutions.
Oddly enough, these two lawyers also knew us well and vouched for our character and placement for this baby. So in the middle of arranging transportation and all the foster care paperwork, something happened and family placement four hours away would no longer be an option. Twelve hours later, an eternity in our book, we got word of what would happen to Baby Gabe.
Within the hour, I held my little prince. Bedtime that night was priceless. When you see a big, burly man squished into a little rocking chair covered in sock monkey blankets holding a tiny baby and singing “Beulah Land,” there’s not a Hallmark movie or card that can capture that sweet sentiment.
I think we both would agree it was the happiest moment in our married life. Very few moments in life will ever compare to that reunion. Even as I retell the story, I am amazed how God’s signature is woven into even the smallest details of Gabe’s God-sized story.
During our first week of being his permanent placement, I took baby Gabe to the nursing facility where my Grandma was staying. It was amazing how these little old ladies sparkled and came to life at the sight of a new baby. One little lady refused to do her physical therapy, which was simply walking up and down the hallway. A former schoolteacher, she clearly had a heart for children. When we walked up the hallway, she walked beside us, talking to the baby the entire way. Inspired by our visits, she completed her physical therapy every time we came!
As for my Grandma Joy Lee, she sprung right back into Grandma action, insisting on holding Gabe. We thought her strength was gone, but she held and rocked that baby just like she had done with every other grandchild. The sweetest moment was when she whispered in his ear, “Now, you be a good boy for Mama.”
But this Mama thing was not a done deal though I was convinced he would be ours forever. I don’t know if it was her lifelong faith being played out once again to pray and believe or if she had whispers from heaven, but she looked at that little boy like he already belonged to us. Within the month, she would draw her last earthly breath. There are no words for the depth of that pain. Yet in moments of heartache, I heard her words echo in my heart. There were many unforgettable moments with my Grandma in my lifetime, but watching the light return to her eyes as she held our precious Gabe will be a vision forever etched in my heart. Honestly, the thought of my Grandma ever seeing or holding my child seemed impossible. But God . . .
I was already an emotional mess because of this huge loss in my life, but throw in some unsupervised visits with our little guy and his birth family and my heart sank every time. The environment I left him in wasn’t safe. After Gabe’s last unsupervised visit, he was returned to us in his little infant carrier with a large caliber bullet underneath his little bottom. Yikes! I’m not sure if I was more mad or scared, but we did some calling on that one. Somebody was going to watch this little baby a lot closer, and that’s exactly what happened: No more unsupervised visits.
They were so hard on everyone involved. Each time I picked him up, his birth mother cried. She was struggling, but she was trying. We maintained a friendly relationship, but it was weird. I didn’t realize how weird until she asked us to consider taking her two teenage children who were also in foster care.
Two days after Christmas became foster parents to Gabe’s half siblings as well. We always said we could never take on teenagers, but God did a work on us. We would never have to worry about another family visit because those teens were very protective of that little baby. In fact, our teenage foster son struggled getting close to anyone, but when he held Gabe he was different. He even said, “I don’t think I will ever love anyone like I love Gabe.” It made me sad, but at least I knew he was connected to someone. Although he and his sister fought, they were very protective of each other because of what they had been through. Our best times as a “hodge podge family” were watching Gabe do all of his “firsts.” The night he ate cereal for the first time, those teens smiled, giggled and held on to every moment. Oh, what a night!
Visits were still taking place off and on. Gabe’s biological father was in and out of the picture. Our teens despised him because they had seen some pretty ugly domestic violence. They often asked, “He won’t get Gabe will he? He isn’t safe. You can’t let him have Gabe, you have to get him!” There were also health battles with Gabe, spending many months on breathing treatments because of prenatal issues and environmental factors early in life. Oh, but we were making great progress, and we knew how to get babies to a cuddly size and get them healthy. Each time I rocked Gabe and sang “You Are My Sunshine” when I got to the line, “Please don’t take my sunshine away,” I cried. What a roller coaster of emotions!
In the state of Kansas, when women have lost children to the system, if they willingly relinquish rights, they can have a fresh start if they have another baby. And guess what, their Mom was expecting another baby, so she relinquished rights to all children. One sister had already been adopted by family, another half sibling by his grandparents, and Gabe had our family, but the two teens didn’t know what they wanted. We offered to adopt them, but they decided to “age out” of the system, which allowed more financial assistance for college. But emotionally they were at a loss. We learned many parenting lessons in that situation . . . another story for another time. They did want to remain with us until they were 18, and our foster daughter craved family connection, so this was very rough!
Court cases with Gabe’s biological father were still necessary, but his struggles continued to get the best of him, and after two and a half long years we had our last day in that courtroom. Even the court reporter had a huge smile on her face. So the little baby that came to us at five pounds and spent six months of his life on breathing treatments was healthy, beautiful, and absolutely the love of our lives. Aaron spent those two and a half years on night duty and really, truly loving every minute of it. To this day, when he begins humming “Beulah Land”, Gabe goes into a sleepy trance.
As things were finalized we had to decide on his new legal name. Foster parents are always encouraged to keep part of their identity. He came to us as Mateo Gabriel Augustine so we kept Gabriel Augustine because that will always be our prayer for him, that he is “a great and magnificent man of God.” We couldn’t have picked a more fitting name.
This morning I heard little footsteps creeping into the kitchen, and the sun peaked through the curtain to shine on his sweet little face. I thought to myself, “Oh, you are my sunshine.” His words ring in my heart as he says, “But Mom, I just want you.” We have “a snuggle moment” and all the while, I am thinking “For this child I prayed.” This story has allowed us to have a testimony that not only shares Gabe’s adoption story but God’s adoption story for us too. Gabe asks some big questions but being adopted into God’s family has given us a biblical picture for him. God has allowed us to tell quite a story for His Glory!
Beautifully written by a beautiful heart. God never ceases to amaze me! We didn’t get to be there during this time but have enjoyed getting to know your precious boy. Thank you for sharing you story.